Rorschach's Diary er, Journal
by zippityduda
Summary: This file was found in the gutters of New York. These are pages torn from the famous "Rorschach's Journal". Probable that Walter Kovacs himself tore these pages out. Still Speculating.
1. Chapter 1

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Rorschach's Di/\ary... Journal

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January 17, 1974

Found a journal. Picked it up. Empty. Wrote this in it. "Found a journal. Picked it up. Empty. Wrote this in it.'Found a journal. Picked it up. Empty. Wrote this--'"........ Anyway. Looked around, Saw

crime everywhere. Swore to bring justice. But first, bought a donut. Love donuts. Got some coffee to go with it. Put a lot of sugar in it. Put some in my pocket. Tried to drink it. Something

wouldn't let it happen. Remembered that my face wouldn't let me drink the coffee. Pulled it off. Cried. Drank the coffee. Put face back on. Was happy. Manager, Carol Hogan, 55, 184 lbs,

approached me. Said, "You're freaking my customers out. Please leave." Left... But first, broke his fingers. Heh heh. Night sky was dark. Heard a scream. Ears were hurting. Ran to a nearby

alley. Found a 12 year old girl. Dead. Dumped in a trashcan. Alone. No prayers for her soul whispered in her ear. No family around a hospital bed. Just there. Gone. Amber hair took a gray hue.

Death. It wafts around us everyday like the... smell of... bacon, in, the, morning-- Never mind. Went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Rorschach's DiaaaaaaaJournal

January 25, 1974

Woke up. Too tired to get out of bed. Too sick of the crime that's infesting the city. Went back to sleep. Had a dream that someone was making a movie about me and all of the others. Hit rock

bottom at the box office. Can see why. Are you kidding me? It was horrible. My actor sounded constipated the whole time. Everyone was made out to be a pimp. Seriously. Woke up at 7:27

P.M. Horrible nightmare. Ordered a pizza. 7:58, doorbell wrung. Pizza is 1 minute late. Opened the door. Russel Wakefield, 3 brothers, all older and in the army. Holding my pizza. He tried to

make a whiny little excuse starting with, "Here's your--" Don't want to know what else of mine he has. Broke his fingers. Took the pizza and slammed the door. Bit into the pizza... There is no

sugarrrrrrrrrr. **IIIIIIIIII NEEEEEEEEED SUUUUUUGAAAAR!!!! LOOKED AROUND! NO SUGAR! HAD TO BE SOME AROUND SOMEWHERE! FOUND A SUGAR PACKET! MMMMMMMMMMM!!!! **

**SO SWEET!! ACH!** SUGAR Coma...

_(Crime was highest that night. Churches were burned to the ground, children were kidnapped, the Jonas Brothers had a concert in the city. I guess the world really is better off with homicidal maniacs on the loose.)_


	3. Chapter 3

Rorschach's NOT Diary, a Journal

February 3, 1974

Stayed up all night. To excited. Big heist tonight at the National Wayne Bank. Not Letting Nite Owl in on this one. Opened a sugar packet. Thinking of what I could do for tonight. Sat on the

couch. Bad idea. Fell through the floor into the 9th floor OOF 8th floor OOF 7th fl-- OOF 6th – 5th – 4th – 3rd – 2nd-- …..1st floor. Apologized for the mess. Manager was cringing in the corner

crying, pointing a gun in his mouth. He didn't even bother to reply. How rude. Ought to punish him when get back. Walked along the night. Knew that it would be a while before those punks

tried to pull off this heist. Walked into a store. Picked up a roll of downy... Wha-- What is this feeling? I-I'm in love... with a roll of paper towels. It's so DOWNEY SOFT!! It makes me feel normal

for once. I'll never go back! Never!!... What the hell just happened? Make sure it doesn't happen again........... Good-by, Downey.

Walked to the bank. Went inside. Decided to wait. Whatever took those punks so long to get here had better be good. Was growing impatient. Almost left but then noticed some punks walking

in. It was them. Right before they had time to whip out their guns, ran up and knocked them to the floor. Looked in their bags... No guns. Suddenly, the vault blew open to reveal the actual

perpetrators. They drove off and I followed them. Shot a grappling hook at the car and kept up as fast as I could. Grip was loosening on my journal. Can't hold on for-----

_(It is assumed that Walter had lost his Journal at this point because his next entry was 2 months later. Although we do not know what happened in this time period, it is assumed that he went into a deep depression and worked kids shows like the Electric Company.)_


	4. Chapter 4

Rorschach's Journal

April 13, 1974

Foaund a book. Leather casing, authentic. Battered with neglect. If it were human, it would be

dead. But since it's cow, it's already dead. It seems familiar. Like we met in some place or another. Was

it here, there? Was it years since we last saw each other? Maybe another existence? One where we

never reelected Nixon? Wait a minute. It's Rorschach's Journal!! _(Insert Music)_ Aaaaaaaat laaaaaaaaaast

…. myyy looooooove has come alooooong. Myy looooonely daays are oveeeer.

Ahem anyway, much has happened. Watchmen have been sweeping up the streets. Crime is

lowering at a steady rate. This makes it seem suspicious. Must investigate. Uneasiness creeps up and

swallows the steady heart. Sort of like a Five Guys burger creeps up to the heart and beats the crap out

of it. The dreaded "End" comes swiftly. Many people lose their "cool" in times like these. Those who

have no cool realize what is approaching and are sent to the asylum. Quaint. The only people who

know the threat are dismissed and labeled crazy by society. Don't bother about who watches the

Watchmen. Who watches society?

Got a goldfish today. It's movements were threatening. Put it under the hot spot and asked it

what it knew. He was good. Didn't even squeal. Just sat there. Started to beat it up. Soon, the fish was

ground into a pulpy mess. Note to self: never try interrogating a fish. Remember to get a puppy

tomorrow.

_(No one really knows what a happened to the puppy. Although many investigators claim he killed it, witnesses claim to have seen him playing with it. Investigations continue.)_


	5. Chapter 5

Rorschach's "Call-it-a-diary-and-I-will-kill-you" Journal

November 12, 1974

Life in the city is rough. Especially when you have one of those annoying freaks walking around. Found a prostitute on the corner. She smoked a cigarette. Attempting to wash away her guilt through the intoxicating potent killer of tobacco. That was not the only thing to enter her mouth in the last hour. Sickening. Went to deliver the specialty. Crime and punishment. Justice was delayed however. A voice came up from behind. "Hey, Rorschach!" God, no. "It's me, Deadpool." What ever he was doing here, it was not a good reason enough.

Spoke up. "Wade Wilson, what the Hell are you doing here?"

The merc replied, "I got bored. Wanna kill someone?" Thought I taught him a lesson last week. Guess he needs another one. Class is now in session.

"Deadpool, have you ever been dropped from a twenty story building?" He thought for a while.

"Twice!" he noted. Must have done that to him already.

"How about-" No. Did the to him three days a ago. Losing my creativity? Thought some more... "Um, Stabbed with a fork maybe?"

The psychopathic murder turned around. A fork was stuck in his buttocks. "And it really hurt, Charlie!" he yelled. Confusion. What was he talking about? "Just an inside joke. So, can I show you something?"

Frustrated. "Look here, I don't need to know what kinda- HOLY CRAP!" He lifted his shirt to reveal a shrunken head dangling from his chest hair...(_insert shudder_).

The nutcase continued. "I made it this morning."

"Who's head did you use?" said I, knowing that what came next would not be pleasant.

"What? Oh no! It's made of duct tape..."

"Oh."

"And blood."

"...What?"

"Yeah. See, this jerk wouldn't pay me for my last assassination because everyone knew who I was? That's cheap, you know?"

"Not as cheap as your-"

"Anyway, I threatened to shoot him in the face and he paid me. Well, I didn't want him to just stand there, so I shot him. Oh, there was blood everywhere. So I thought, 'Deadpool, what are you going to do with all that blood? The police are going to find it and it's just going to be a mess. So, what better way to use blood-"

Couldn't take any more. "You F****** Psyco! Get the M************ **** out of my ******* comic! What the **** are you ******* doing here anyway, son of a *****!"

Wade walked away silently. Not one word. Strange. Even when he's leaving, he usually leaves a witty comment. Maybe, I thought. Didn't finish. Weight collapsed on me. Strain to look up.

"Who are you?" I asked.

Voice responded, "I'm Jack Bauer! Your going to tell me everything you know about that bomb."

Lost consciou-

_(Rorschach was reported missing by his team members. It is not clear whether or not Jack Bauer did exist before this time or not. He probably used time travel, because he is that awesome. Witnesses are being interrogated as we speak. And if you think I'm losing it, please let me know. I'll go into seclusion for five months or until I get better ideas. Please comment.)_


End file.
